Keeping friendship and love alive in politically turbulent times
I doubt I'm alone with this situation. Those you consider your nearest and dearest are suddenly on the other side of the political fence, and you both find yourselves passionately disagreeing about the future. What do you do next?
True friends are those who really know you but love you anyway.
Edna Buchanan
Your best friends are those who speak well of you behind your back.
Sam Ewing
A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked."
Bernard Meltzer
In a bad marriage, friends are the invisible glue. If we have enough friends, we may go on for years, intending to leave, talking about leaving - instead of actually getting up and leaving.
...Fairy tales like James and Mary's come true in Washington, but only when they conform to certain conditions. This one captures, in miniature, the well-known process of "Gergenization..."
...According to the popular definition, Gergenization resolves all ideological differences in a thin gruel of centrism. But this is not really how Gergenism works. Like its namesake, it tends to resolve conflicts only in one direction. "The American people didn't send us here to bicker": this is Gergenism's motto, "We're all friends after five o'clock"...
...No wonder, then, that Washington swoons when James takes Mary's hand. The moral is plain...
--ANDREW FERGUSON
Mr. Ferguson is a senior writer for The Washingtonian
Well, I haven't known what to do, lately, since the world has warped and changed so dramatically in the past several years, or so it has been hard to find the way to keep close ties safe from harm.
People and their opinions have become inflamed, but what do you do when, say, your female friends, the same women who've stood by you during personal ups and downs, through thick and thin, suddenly state they're not on the same political team as you are?
Well, I snapped and retreated into my own shell. And I'm not proud of that.
But, this really is new territory for me, because in the past, it didn't matter. I accepted and actually welcomed alternative friends.
But, lately -- I changed. I got really upset and emotional over politics. I felt heartbroken when people didn't see what I felt was the "writing on the wall." And, I'm embarrassed to admit this, because I'm not proud of it, but I pulled away from my best friends.
It's just that for the entire summer till now I've seen a dramatic shift in my world. I've seen my neighborhood go to the dogs and I know who put us here and I can't help but blame certain people. It's taken me some time to articulate all this to myself. But, I've felt so confused about how to handle this that I really wanted to write about my struggle. Surely there are other people in similar situations.
But, it has to be wrong to blame or judge a friend for not sharing your world view. Just don't talk about it with them. But, do not, do not throw the baby out with the bathwater.
It's taken me some time to reexamine and sift through what my thoughts and my priorities are.
I tried to find some quotes or insights into the nature of preserving "friendship" in spite of differences.
True friends are those who really know you but love you anyway.
Edna Buchanan
Your best friends are those who speak well of you behind your back.
Sam Ewing
A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked."
Bernard Meltzer
In a bad marriage, friends are the invisible glue. If we have enough friends, we may go on for years, intending to leave, talking about leaving - instead of actually getting up and leaving.
Erica Jong
Can miles truly separate you from friends.... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there?
Richard Bach
A friend is the inspiration in you when you have lost all hope, and they bring out a world inside of you that you never knew you had.
Tiffany Maynard
Can miles truly separate you from friends.... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there?
Richard Bach
A friend is the inspiration in you when you have lost all hope, and they bring out a world inside of you that you never knew you had.
Tiffany Maynard
And then there is the ballad of Mary and James.
Mary Matalin and James Carville
Mrs. Right and Mr. Left.
Hey, if they can live in harmony and can't all of us do the same?
Mary Matalin and James Carville
My new gurus for keeping love alive in spite of political turmoil
And they live happily ever after - how political consultants James Carville and Mary Matalin have become the toast of Washington, D.C
Andrew Ferguson
...James and Mary couldn't be more different. James is a relentless partisan, on duty at all times. Mary carries herself more lightly, a Republican "chick."
Andrew Ferguson
...James and Mary couldn't be more different. James is a relentless partisan, on duty at all times. Mary carries herself more lightly, a Republican "chick."
...Fairy tales like James and Mary's come true in Washington, but only when they conform to certain conditions. This one captures, in miniature, the well-known process of "Gergenization..."
...According to the popular definition, Gergenization resolves all ideological differences in a thin gruel of centrism. But this is not really how Gergenism works. Like its namesake, it tends to resolve conflicts only in one direction. "The American people didn't send us here to bicker": this is Gergenism's motto, "We're all friends after five o'clock"...
...No wonder, then, that Washington swoons when James takes Mary's hand. The moral is plain...
...And when they married last month, no one had to speculate, as idle wedding guests sometimes will, how the marriage would be consummated. It's what Democrats always do to Republicans when they have the chance.
--ANDREW FERGUSON
Mr. Ferguson is a senior writer for The Washingtonian
Comments
...Anyway, this is a lovely, thoughtful post.