louise on the left (coast)

This week's episode of Still Single, Season 3, Ep. 8, was delayed by, let's just call it an act of Christmas charity. I will tell you this:  During this episode we spent almost the entire time with the Hardy Boys while they attempted to solve The Mystery of The Mad Crapper and Who Soiled the Spunk King's Bathtub? During this episode, which aired during Christmas week,  I gave up focusing on why Eric Schaeffer's potty might back up to his tub.  Or why on earth anyone would intentionally do this at all.  It really made Eric seem most mad to waste film footage on it. Frankly, this episode reminded me of what raising boys must be like.  I have girls.  The issues, while just as ludicrous, are, in fact, vastly different.  This week I was reminded that boys really like talking about bodily functions and sex. In the end sitting down to try to articulate, for this wee blog, just what the hell they were all doing in this week's show seemed like a perverse waste of m

Helen Mirren tells it like it is regarding women being overlooked, unappreciated and undervalued in the film industry. Long live the queen.

This year, when people are struggling so much for whatever personal reason, I didn't feel like adding any extra "creepy" to our holidays, but I can see that this post is still getting some buzz from last year -- So, I'll repost...But let it be said I do hope your holidays are anything but disturbing.   Merry (disturbing) Christmas! I started out with the best of intentions. I was researching vintage Christmas stockings to make with the kids, when unfortunately I stumbled across these rather more unusual images of holidays gone by. Looks like drunk ladies were a popular Christmas card theme that year! Santa has a hugy scary head.  What is under Barbie's Christmas tree? Serial Santa Pixie boy poisons your cookies. Santa eats children for christmas   Nazi drummer elf ornament  Vaguely disturbing choir boys  Saddest Shepherd ever Cute lil Santa men Twisted

Sooooo, here we are:  S3, E7 (Which means, Season three, episode 7) BTW:  This is me.  Last summer.  On my third, and final, attempt to get through this book. Back to the show: This week, during the longer than usual winter casting session for Ward/Schaeffer's sequal we learn a few things that kind of jumped out at me, for reasons only The Shadow could possibly shed light on: First we learn that Eric's agent "threw out" Tony Roberts for the so-called "F. Murray Abraham"character, whatever that means. Then we learn that Donal Ward's mom went on a date with Tony Roberts "about 40 years ago."  I wonder why Eric can even afford a seasoned, Tony award-winning actor for this obviously low budget B-Film.  The bad thing about union actors is that they expect fair pay. Anyhow, this led Eric to share that his mom once went out with Henry Gibson. And then, something personal happened when I heard this:  I had this big old flashback to BUHS

(Note: At the time of publishing this my oldest kid was barely 13.) Are you a parent? Do you love your daughter?  Then do not ever take her to see this movie.  Ever. For the record, it may be the holidays.  True, they release ballet films during the holidays, but "Black Swan" is no "dance movie." Frankly, it's not even a very good thriller. It's a movie about Natalie Portman  pretending to dance while looking worried and scared and flapping her arms around while she picks at her skin and toenails until they bleed. And then she picks at her skin so much that you want to run screaming from the theater because it's so creepy and gross that you can barely sit there and take it any longer. Lots of close ups of snipping at skin with nail clippers and scissors.  Lots of long shots of Portman pulling off her hangnails until the skin is stripped up and off the fingers while she winces and bleeds into the sink. -- Merry Christmas!  Here's your da

So, with fond memories of the 1977 film, "The Turning Point," I've had some thoughts about taking my 14-year-old art school daughter to a matinee to see "Black Swan."  *Note*  Update: I just got back from seeing "Black Swan."   Be sure to read my review of it here.   I mean, they're about women, ambition and ballet world, right?  What could be more apropos?   But, perhaps MacLaine's famous line, "Keep your hands off of my daughter!" would carry different meaning in "Black Swan," the 2010 ballet-themed thriller. Great Movie Lines from "The Turning Point" Emma:  "You got married because you knew you were second rate!" Dee Dee:  "You're over the hill and you know it !" Dee Dee:  "NOT MY DAUGHTER!  YOU KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY DAUGHTER!" And then there's the post-fight lines: Dee Dee:  "Oh, Emma, if only she knew everything we know." Em

Having just come off of a long week filled with holiday performances and Christmas choral events, this seemed timely, if not most odd.

Okay, this is a surprise! Wow, "Evening Primrose" is a rare Sondheim musical that my very, very favorite audition song is from: " I Remember Sky ." I really didn't think I'd ever get a chance to see it as it was performed. Cool! Little-seen Stephen Sondheim TV musical headed to DVD *Mental note to tell Santa.

For the first time, there's finally a woman on "I Can't Believe I'm Still Single" who was  genuinely terrific, but Schaeffer still, astonishingly, tossed her back into the sea without even noticing how great she was. Amazing. Here was this assertive, cute, funny, British "Lily Allen" type, and he can't even bare to share the screen with her! During the show she was sweet, affectionate and playful and next thing you know, he sends her to sit out of shot in the kitchen after coming over to kiss him!  Then, later he just bores her to tears on the couch, then, "See ya!  Don't let the door hit you as you leave!" Completely blind to the fact that finally here was everything  (and more, actually) that he's been whining he could never find, right under his nose! Her name is Maxi Wild . It was hard to find a photo online as interesting as she was on "I Can't Believe I'm Still Single," however this one will have

Directions: I hear some friends say this doesn't work for them:  But, I think most people are not patient enough for the thing to load in.  Do not assume it isn't working when you get the "Google" screen. I have a Macbook Pro and I use Safari/Firefox. But, here are my directions: FIRST OF ALL -- BE PATIENT. FIRST -- CLICK ON "ENGLISH" (duh?) THEN CLICK ON "FACEBOOK" (YOU HAVE TO DO THIS PART) -- Now just freaking wait for all the little side icon things to slowly fill in. Be patient. Then  once all the little symbols are in place - THEN CLICK "PLAY" (I am refraining from using the word "duh" here only because I love you so much, whoever you are reading this.) But, then --- give it time to work it's magic and call your friends/ kids over for them to say (and I quote my kids, Anna Lily and Juliet  "Whoa!  Mom!  THAT'S INSANE! IS THAT YOU, MOM?! THAT'S INSANE!!!!)

I have to admit what initially what caught my eye about this was that she was playing with Jim Lauderdale, who really is the real (Country) deal. So, this intrigued me.  Then I took a closer look at this clip from the future holiday release, Country Strong ." What really sticks in my craw is watching Gwyneth deliver a song which is about as far from the truth as it gets . Come on.  When you're the daughter of a producer and an award-winning actress?  When you're a vegan millionaire with an army of maids, an entourage of personal chefs, and married to a fucking rock star? It's just kinda hard to stomach her croon as if she's from Butcher Holler and the tough life she endures. I have weathered, colder winters And longer summers, without a drop of rain   Push me in a corner and I’ll come out fightin’ I may lose but I’ll always keep my face Oh, please.  Butcher Holler my ass. Watch:

Sometimes you have no recollection what you were doing during a life-changing moment in history, but I can tell you precisely what I was doing the night Lennon was shot. I was in New York City.  And I was waiting for Jim Lauderdale to start his set. At the time he wasn't Jim the Grammy winner, he was Jim the talented, but largely unknown musician by night and office worker at Rolling Stone Magazine, by day. For me, it was the year I took off from college in 1980, when I lived in a sublet on Riverside Drive on the Upper West Side. That particular night I remember very well, Jim asked if I wanted to come hear him play an acoustic set at the East Side YMCA. I did, naturally, and invited another college friend to join me. We met at the Y and took our seats in the echoey hall.  I believe it was on 72nd street.  Well,  I think it was 72nd, it might have been 79th. I know is that it seemed to be directly across Central Park from and the Dakota, where the Lennon's li

Don't know about anyone else,  but I needed to see something like this right now. ___________________________________________ Ryan's website:  ryanwoodwardart.com "World Spins Madly On" by The Weepies - Courtesy of Nettwerk Music Group

Hollywood Casting Couch Schaeffer's Casting Couch I happen to love the opening credits to this show. To be honest, they really do crack me up.  The Tigger-like optimism. His voice over is kind of like a hack comedian skipping up to the front the stage and handing everyone in the front row their very own cream pie; Then bouncing back to center stage oblivious to any impending onslaught. Every week, the same thing. And every week, in these opening credits, he always sounds so promising. "I'm Eric Schaeffer , just your average, single, semi-famous filmmaker-actor, who wants to settle down.   "This season I'm staying in New York City and looking for my girl here. "I mean, if the love of my life isn't in my hometown, I don't know where's she gonna be? "I also need to make my new movie, 'They're Out of the Business' with my best friend, Donny.  It's the sequel to first film,'My Life's In Turnaround.'

Will the real Eric Schaeffer please stand up? I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M STILL BENNY HILL No doubt, this season seems quite different from the first, or second, because this show  really stinks. It's gone from looking like it was about looking for true love, to, at best, resembling a very bad Benny Hill skit.  Again, and again and again... The amount of real effort put into to this season seems to have dwindled, and it shows.   There's no real "dating" going on at all that we can see.  This makes the premise of the title of the series just seem obsolete. I don't get what is going on here at all anymore. Even in the first ten minutes of the show the amount  of pure drivel is astonishing.  Why should we care about some of the random, stupid things Eric and Donny are talking about here?  Childhood photos chit chat?  Is it cool to say that an aunt looks hot in a photo?  Wearing white makes you appear chubby.  On and on... The first funny laugh is when Mar