Louise On The Left's "I Can't Believe...Single" re-cap: Allison and Vermont.
Okay, so I guess I might as well resign myself to the fact that I'm planning to write my own "un-review" for each segment in Season Two of "I Can't Believe I'm Still Single...Portland to Portland."
Why? Because nobody else is, and I'm getting hits on this subject, that's why.
Question: Why is Season Two still being called "I Can't Believe...Portland to Portland" when I have yet to hear of either city in any segment this season?
So, here's my spin on Episode 4, when Eric meets Allison from Vermont.
At the opening of the episode, Allison's friend voiced concern that she does not want people to refer to Allison's date as "the big girl date." Point noted. Not a problem. She was full figured, but also totally gorgeous, and cool. But, I'm going to bet that for Mr. Seeking Ms. Perfect, that deep down he may still have an issue with what he may view as non-perfection due to his known food-control issues.
Uhm, so, yeah -- this week Eric and his jaunty crew road-tripped up to Vermont.
Growing up, I made that trip almost every other weekend. And I can vouch that it isn't a short trip, so I was baffled that it really was all filmed on the same day. If that's accurate, then they had to be exhausted by the end of the date.
The trip must've taken anywhere from four to seven hours just getting to Burlington without stopping, or being stopped for speeding.
It's about three-and-a-half or four from NYC just to the first exit past the Vermont border. (Which happens to be Brattleboro, right off I-91 and, coincidentally, where Schaeffer -- and I -- grew up, and where he spent a good part of his elementary school and high school, years.)
However, in this segment they went all the way up Vermont, first to Burlington, to meet his date, then after dinner, Eric talks her into "taking him" up to Canada to a sex club. (Now that I think of it, there's no human way they could have done that in a day, so this must have been filmed over a few days time.)
Anyhow, I suppose to some that is a romantic way to end a first date, when I was single I may have done bizarre things, so I'll reserve any judgment on this, but I'm not sure if I were a man filming a date that may ("hopefully") lead to "finding the love of my life" that immediately driving to a sex club would be a great way to develop intimacy and trust. But, what do I know?
So, they (all) drove another hour and a half north right to the Canadian border, which, must have been really cold and extremely tedious just to get to a strip joint "across the border." (I just have to ask: Can Canadians really be that much more kinky?)
Anyhow, here's the funniest part, so they all endured this cold, dark, tedious trek just so that Eric could "bring his hot date to a sex club in Canada" however they had to turn around at the border and never even made it. I almost felt sorry for Allison at that point.
And, I'd say, ditto for Eric, but he always has an advantage in the game (it's his show) so, I don't waste sympathy on him since his emotional "quest" is really just a meal ticket.
Now, you have to know something about me: I adore Vermont. I'd move there in an instant if it ever made sense for my husband and my kids to do so. My parents live there and up till a few years ago when the concept of investing in a second home seemed like a normal thing to do, I'd have gladly purchased a particular property I had my eye on for a long time.
But, here we are in an economic meltdown and for better or worse, I'm firmly planted in the fertile soil of Orange County, Ca...Here I can grow great kids, and, yes, even fruit and vegetables. Why not? Groves of all the above.
But, the point I'm making in relation to Eric and Vermont and any girl he may date there: Vermont is perfect and Vermonters are a good reason why that is. Vermont is my utopia and so I'm going to be inclined to think women he dates from Vermont are going to be very cool.
And Allison did seem so.
She certainly has quite a fan club who spoke highly of her to Eric. She lived up the hype that she was a beautiful, extremely open-minded and very seemed to be a what I would call "a real catch" Beauty, brains and a sense of humor, but it could be that for some guys she might even appear to be too independent or brave.
I don't think Eric will fall in love with her, because she's just too intelligent -- However, he'll never admit this fact. She already challenges and will continue to challenge his insecure bullshit and he may try to be open to this, but in the end won't be able to accept this for long. She's as smart, if not smarter than he is. Which isn't great for long term planning. He'd have to embrace this fact to make it work long term. Not going to happen.
She also needs to see that once the romance wears off with Eric that he'll drive her nuts with all his neediness. It's not a long-term relationship that I predict could last.
Also, in spite of trying to act otherwise, I suspect he still wants a model-skinny chick, but he's too embarrassed to admit this shallow fact to his enlightened viewership.
He still wants a yoga-model babe who will have stars in her eyes for him in spite of all his insecurity and self-infatuation. In other words, someone fairly green about men, and I don't mean ecological.
I don't really get one thing though.
Does Allison really know what kind of Pandora's box she's opened by letting the world know how "experimental" she is sexually? It's one thing to tell someone this face-to-face, but going on cable television with this news could be asking for trouble.
I predict that she may not love all the attention she gets as a result of this, especially since she strikes me as another lovely, sensitive woman who may just be channeling her insecurity about weight into something that I doubt she really wants the world to identify her as being.
I just don't buy that she has such a "just sex" side to her, like her buddies insisted she did. (Her Vt. pals said that she'd always list "sex" first in the list Eric grills people with. )*
She did put God first in that list, after all, and I think deep down, she's channeling her sexual energy into things she can control (like sex play) when the sadness of not being able to control so much is out of her hands.
I just felt like all the non-emotional kinky sex talk of hers with Eric, was a red herring in that she is actually, just like Eric, simply for something very solid and boring and real. (Which I can tell you is great, once you accept this reality, especially the having kids part. Trust me. Once she has kids she will NOT want videotape of her talking about drugs, sex, kinkiness or any of that crazy stuff out there on TV. Sorry, but raising kids makes you embrace being beige so fast your head will spin.)
Anyway, I also kind of think she's compensating about, perhaps her appearance, with the hints at her possibly dom sex life. I just hope she doesn't live to regret this. And I don't know why they insisted of making an issue of her weight, because by doing so it made it an issue.
So, I like her, too. So I don't want her to waste her time, because he's someone who can't (insert Jack Nicholson's voice here.) "Can't handle the truth!" -- I think she'll fight with him -- I would.
-- Oh, but, I can't forget this part.
And, hey, I just have to say this, Mark Ebner: Holy crap, you are so lucky I wasn't driving when it was discovered you'd let everyone get to the Canadian border that late at night, without once checking that you brought a passport or even a Social Security card with you?!
Are you kidding? Seriously, lame. This is the same border the terrorists used in order to enter the US to then fly jets from Logan into the World Trade Center.
Ebner believed he could traipse across the border with his drivers license because when Eric asked him what else he had with him since he knew they were headed to Canada: Here's how Ebner responded when asked if he even thought to take his passport or social security card or even birth certificate with him.
Ebner: "Eric, Eric, okay. Here's what I got. I have my Private I. credentials, and I got I'm a best selling New York Times author. And my father's Canadian." -- Oh. Okay, then.
That was so lame, I thought it was staged. I would have dropped you off at the first Vermont Scientology center I could find and told them precisely what stories you wrote about them. You'd be hitching back home if I were driving.
Clearly Allison had to know she was on a road trip with "Dumb and Dumber," at that point, right?
And that Eric didn't kick Ebner out of the car for that blunder proves that Schaeffer must be a very forgiving person.
Especially, since Ebners final comment in the show, was after they all turned around at the border and had to drive back to Burlington since Ebner didn't remember a border crossing involves things like passports, was
"So, you wanna go to that titty club in Montpelier?"
Namaste.
* Oh, here's The "Eric Schaeffer Order of Importance List:"
He always asks his dates to "rank in order of importance" the following:
God
Sex
Money
Love
For me I think that list would be:
1. Love (It's all around me with regard to my husband and kids. It's just there all the time. If I look at my kids I melt with love. I'd throw myself under a train for them. I'd die for them. That's love.)
2. Sex (It's great when it's there.)
3. Money (I already happily live on very little)
4. God (I'm a spiritual agnostic. I'm okay with a concept of God. )
However, I am not a fan of "organized religion." At all. I think Jesus did exist, but if he lived here now, but he'd never stop throwing up seeing what people have done in his name.
Why? Because nobody else is, and I'm getting hits on this subject, that's why.
Question: Why is Season Two still being called "I Can't Believe...Portland to Portland" when I have yet to hear of either city in any segment this season?
So, here's my spin on Episode 4, when Eric meets Allison from Vermont.
At the opening of the episode, Allison's friend voiced concern that she does not want people to refer to Allison's date as "the big girl date." Point noted. Not a problem. She was full figured, but also totally gorgeous, and cool. But, I'm going to bet that for Mr. Seeking Ms. Perfect, that deep down he may still have an issue with what he may view as non-perfection due to his known food-control issues.
Uhm, so, yeah -- this week Eric and his jaunty crew road-tripped up to Vermont.
Growing up, I made that trip almost every other weekend. And I can vouch that it isn't a short trip, so I was baffled that it really was all filmed on the same day. If that's accurate, then they had to be exhausted by the end of the date.
The trip must've taken anywhere from four to seven hours just getting to Burlington without stopping, or being stopped for speeding.
It's about three-and-a-half or four from NYC just to the first exit past the Vermont border. (Which happens to be Brattleboro, right off I-91 and, coincidentally, where Schaeffer -- and I -- grew up, and where he spent a good part of his elementary school and high school, years.)
However, in this segment they went all the way up Vermont, first to Burlington, to meet his date, then after dinner, Eric talks her into "taking him" up to Canada to a sex club. (Now that I think of it, there's no human way they could have done that in a day, so this must have been filmed over a few days time.)
Anyhow, I suppose to some that is a romantic way to end a first date, when I was single I may have done bizarre things, so I'll reserve any judgment on this, but I'm not sure if I were a man filming a date that may ("hopefully") lead to "finding the love of my life" that immediately driving to a sex club would be a great way to develop intimacy and trust. But, what do I know?
So, they (all) drove another hour and a half north right to the Canadian border, which, must have been really cold and extremely tedious just to get to a strip joint "across the border." (I just have to ask: Can Canadians really be that much more kinky?)
Anyhow, here's the funniest part, so they all endured this cold, dark, tedious trek just so that Eric could "bring his hot date to a sex club in Canada" however they had to turn around at the border and never even made it. I almost felt sorry for Allison at that point.
And, I'd say, ditto for Eric, but he always has an advantage in the game (it's his show) so, I don't waste sympathy on him since his emotional "quest" is really just a meal ticket.
Now, you have to know something about me: I adore Vermont. I'd move there in an instant if it ever made sense for my husband and my kids to do so. My parents live there and up till a few years ago when the concept of investing in a second home seemed like a normal thing to do, I'd have gladly purchased a particular property I had my eye on for a long time.
But, here we are in an economic meltdown and for better or worse, I'm firmly planted in the fertile soil of Orange County, Ca...Here I can grow great kids, and, yes, even fruit and vegetables. Why not? Groves of all the above.
But, the point I'm making in relation to Eric and Vermont and any girl he may date there: Vermont is perfect and Vermonters are a good reason why that is. Vermont is my utopia and so I'm going to be inclined to think women he dates from Vermont are going to be very cool.
And Allison did seem so.
She certainly has quite a fan club who spoke highly of her to Eric. She lived up the hype that she was a beautiful, extremely open-minded and very seemed to be a what I would call "a real catch" Beauty, brains and a sense of humor, but it could be that for some guys she might even appear to be too independent or brave.
I don't think Eric will fall in love with her, because she's just too intelligent -- However, he'll never admit this fact. She already challenges and will continue to challenge his insecure bullshit and he may try to be open to this, but in the end won't be able to accept this for long. She's as smart, if not smarter than he is. Which isn't great for long term planning. He'd have to embrace this fact to make it work long term. Not going to happen.
She also needs to see that once the romance wears off with Eric that he'll drive her nuts with all his neediness. It's not a long-term relationship that I predict could last.
Also, in spite of trying to act otherwise, I suspect he still wants a model-skinny chick, but he's too embarrassed to admit this shallow fact to his enlightened viewership.
He still wants a yoga-model babe who will have stars in her eyes for him in spite of all his insecurity and self-infatuation. In other words, someone fairly green about men, and I don't mean ecological.
I don't really get one thing though.
Does Allison really know what kind of Pandora's box she's opened by letting the world know how "experimental" she is sexually? It's one thing to tell someone this face-to-face, but going on cable television with this news could be asking for trouble.
I predict that she may not love all the attention she gets as a result of this, especially since she strikes me as another lovely, sensitive woman who may just be channeling her insecurity about weight into something that I doubt she really wants the world to identify her as being.
I just don't buy that she has such a "just sex" side to her, like her buddies insisted she did. (Her Vt. pals said that she'd always list "sex" first in the list Eric grills people with. )*
She did put God first in that list, after all, and I think deep down, she's channeling her sexual energy into things she can control (like sex play) when the sadness of not being able to control so much is out of her hands.
I just felt like all the non-emotional kinky sex talk of hers with Eric, was a red herring in that she is actually, just like Eric, simply for something very solid and boring and real. (Which I can tell you is great, once you accept this reality, especially the having kids part. Trust me. Once she has kids she will NOT want videotape of her talking about drugs, sex, kinkiness or any of that crazy stuff out there on TV. Sorry, but raising kids makes you embrace being beige so fast your head will spin.)
Anyway, I also kind of think she's compensating about, perhaps her appearance, with the hints at her possibly dom sex life. I just hope she doesn't live to regret this. And I don't know why they insisted of making an issue of her weight, because by doing so it made it an issue.
So, I like her, too. So I don't want her to waste her time, because he's someone who can't (insert Jack Nicholson's voice here.) "Can't handle the truth!" -- I think she'll fight with him -- I would.
-- Oh, but, I can't forget this part.
And, hey, I just have to say this, Mark Ebner: Holy crap, you are so lucky I wasn't driving when it was discovered you'd let everyone get to the Canadian border that late at night, without once checking that you brought a passport or even a Social Security card with you?!
Are you kidding? Seriously, lame. This is the same border the terrorists used in order to enter the US to then fly jets from Logan into the World Trade Center.
Ebner believed he could traipse across the border with his drivers license because when Eric asked him what else he had with him since he knew they were headed to Canada: Here's how Ebner responded when asked if he even thought to take his passport or social security card or even birth certificate with him.
Ebner: "Eric, Eric, okay. Here's what I got. I have my Private I. credentials, and I got I'm a best selling New York Times author. And my father's Canadian." -- Oh. Okay, then.
That was so lame, I thought it was staged. I would have dropped you off at the first Vermont Scientology center I could find and told them precisely what stories you wrote about them. You'd be hitching back home if I were driving.
Clearly Allison had to know she was on a road trip with "Dumb and Dumber," at that point, right?
And that Eric didn't kick Ebner out of the car for that blunder proves that Schaeffer must be a very forgiving person.
Especially, since Ebners final comment in the show, was after they all turned around at the border and had to drive back to Burlington since Ebner didn't remember a border crossing involves things like passports, was
"So, you wanna go to that titty club in Montpelier?"
Namaste.
* Oh, here's The "Eric Schaeffer Order of Importance List:"
He always asks his dates to "rank in order of importance" the following:
God
Sex
Money
Love
For me I think that list would be:
1. Love (It's all around me with regard to my husband and kids. It's just there all the time. If I look at my kids I melt with love. I'd throw myself under a train for them. I'd die for them. That's love.)
2. Sex (It's great when it's there.)
3. Money (I already happily live on very little)
4. God (I'm a spiritual agnostic. I'm okay with a concept of God. )
However, I am not a fan of "organized religion." At all. I think Jesus did exist, but if he lived here now, but he'd never stop throwing up seeing what people have done in his name.
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