Bristol's blessing & curse. Talking to kids about sex.
Here's how yesterday's Palin-style Abstinence Tour sounded to Gawker (link here.)
And how it appeared to Keith Olbermann --
But, it got me thinking -- Is Bristol Palin a really a good role model? For what? Abstinence or more sex education?
Wow. More mixed messages Palin style, this time they use Bristol to promote more useless conservative propaganda.
I watched several of her interviews this week and here's how I heard her:
"Sex is a blessing and a curse. No, I mean, the baby part. It's a curse not just a blessing."
"No...Uh, the other way. "
"Look, my Mom and Dad made me do this interview, I don't really even care what other teens do, I just know I have to say all this to you, so puh-leez, do not make me think on top of it all, okay? Because I'm a real mom now, and it's hard! And this baby isn't just an accessory on my hip. Okay?"
Yeah, so yesterday Gawker posted a pretty great round-up of yesterday's really peculiar press tour of Bristol Palin telling other teens to skip the birth control, not have sex.
So, what I'm wondering is this -- Is this message to "at risk" teens supposed to be successful in preventing more teen pregnancies? If so, why?
The baby was a "bad thing?" Well, she looks more supported and grounded now with this cute little baby in her arms than she ever did before. Her dad is sitting to her paying her lots of attention during her confessional tell-all moment. Her family is suddenly a huge part of her everyday life. They sure weren't during the campaign, so, this attention and new found maturity is bad?
In fact, why IS Bristol's dad, Todd Palin, such a presence on his daughter's "Sex Leads to Bad Things, Just Not This Baby" Tour?
By the way, didn't George Michael already record a song about this?
"Abstinence is natural - Abstinence is good
Not everybody does it
But everybody should
Abstinence is natural - Abstinence is fun
Abstinence is best when it's....one on one"
Oh, wait. No....
Hmmmm. Wait a minute: Let's recap, here:
Bristol said while pregnant that abstinence does not work. Actually, I think here words "unrealistic."
Now, she says abstinence is the only way to fight teen pregnancy -- pregnancy, which ruined her life, except it isn't really ruined, because she loves her baby so much and life is good. (Confused yet?)
Let's see....If I were a really confused teen who wanted more love and attention in my life, wouldn't Bristol's new life actually appear pretty appealing right now? I think it would. Look at the way Todd Palin looks at her, now....which is kind of odd, actually -- is his supposed to be a "doting" look or, what? Where's his wife?
Anyhow, let's face it, teens mostly get pregnant because the didn't tell the guy to pull out in time, not in an organized plot to get more parental attention.
Hello? Trigger or Tripp or Tag (Tigger?) or whatever that poor baby's name is, is here not just because his clearly dopey parents "did it" without a condom (or thought). But, really, that baby is here now mostly because the teenagers who conceived him had a whole lot of unsupervised free time to conceive that baby.
Point noted: I guess next time I run for president, I'll make sure my kids have someone to drive them to and from soccer practice and see they are sleeping (alone) at home at night.
I mean, you know why teens get pregnant? Because they got horny and it felt really, really good and they didn't expect to be so carried away by things.
Truthfully, all those awkward, useless "Family Unit" classes they teach you starting in fifth grade NEVER address the obvious, which is --
-- "Sex is gonna happen. One day, sooner or later, sex will happen and it will be "a-very-big-deal" and you need to have your wits about you in so that it does not go very wrong."
"One of these days you will want to do things, things that you've been told again and again are all wrong, however, I guarantee (if you are lucky) will actually feel so right. What will you do, then?"
This discovery may be confusing, especially if it's all wrapped up in "liking someone a lot," too.
So, if you start to have sex and it actually feels so natural and right, then the question really is, "how much of this can you do before you absolutely must stop?"
(Well, personally, I believe there are two answers, the "Conservative an Moral" answer is, "Unless you are married, then stop yesterday, and do not proceed further!" Which, sadly, we all know is a concept doomed to fail.
And then there's the realistic answer, or "real one," which I believe is to wait as long as possible, but should you choose to disappoint your mother and "do it" before college, then please, please, please wear a condom, always practice safe sex 100% of the time. And make sure it's with someone who deeply cares about you who deeply trust. (Don't trust them? Don't do it.)
I digress. It's the horror movie in my mind taking over.
Let's backtrack.
Some possible questions kids may have about when to "stop" having sex.
"Will my boyfriend know when to stop?"
"Will my way-sleazier friends tell me? If you don't tell me what to do next, can I ask them for advice?"
"What if I have condoms, but we do things that I know (from "Family Unit") won't get me pregnant."
"So, what kinds of sex are actually, not so safe?"
"Why didn't they tell me what I need to have in order to fully protect myself from pregnancy and disease in those mandatory "Family Unit" classes?"
Most of these kids will not stop mid-act and call Mom to ask her how far they should go. These kids will have to make a judgement call all on their own. So we need to make sure they can make a GOOD CHOICE.
If we do not want to raise very messed up kids, they need to know that sex is, in fact, neither right or wrong.
Sex just is.
It's what allows us to exist as a species and it's a big deal: But, if you do not wear protection during sex you could very well get an STD (just show them a few photos of these!) or HIV (how about a few clips of people who got HIV from unprotected sex) and a baby (interview moms like me on how much fun my own pregnancies were - I will make girls buy stock in Trojans).
Tell them the truth about what real consequences of sex are, and make sure they are emotionally prepared for how tempting it will be to forget to be smart "during that moment." This is the part the educators all leave out. And, it's a pretty important part.
Hello? Here's what they don't tell you in school. Sex is fun. Sometimes, sex can be awful, too. There are probably great discussions that could be had regarding both these subjects.
I, as a parent, can't bear to think of my children "growing up" but refusing to deal with that step is a big mistake. We have to be brave about speaking to our kids. Or risk some dire consequences.
Talk to each other -- and certainly talk to your kids about sex.
That's all I'm saying.
Surely, it will absolutely be awkward to do so, but it's better to have an embarrassing and awkward conversation with your kid than to have a tragic one later, because you chickened out on talking with them before it became "an issue."
I am convinced that it is when people stop talking to each other that bad things happen.
Here's a link to the best piece on this from Gawker regarding Bristol and Levi and the pathetic consequences of mixed messages.
And how it appeared to Keith Olbermann --
But, it got me thinking -- Is Bristol Palin a really a good role model? For what? Abstinence or more sex education?
Wow. More mixed messages Palin style, this time they use Bristol to promote more useless conservative propaganda.
I watched several of her interviews this week and here's how I heard her:
"Sex is a blessing and a curse. No, I mean, the baby part. It's a curse not just a blessing."
"No...Uh, the other way. "
"Look, my Mom and Dad made me do this interview, I don't really even care what other teens do, I just know I have to say all this to you, so puh-leez, do not make me think on top of it all, okay? Because I'm a real mom now, and it's hard! And this baby isn't just an accessory on my hip. Okay?"
Yeah, so yesterday Gawker posted a pretty great round-up of yesterday's really peculiar press tour of Bristol Palin telling other teens to skip the birth control, not have sex.
So, what I'm wondering is this -- Is this message to "at risk" teens supposed to be successful in preventing more teen pregnancies? If so, why?
The baby was a "bad thing?" Well, she looks more supported and grounded now with this cute little baby in her arms than she ever did before. Her dad is sitting to her paying her lots of attention during her confessional tell-all moment. Her family is suddenly a huge part of her everyday life. They sure weren't during the campaign, so, this attention and new found maturity is bad?
In fact, why IS Bristol's dad, Todd Palin, such a presence on his daughter's "Sex Leads to Bad Things, Just Not This Baby" Tour?
By the way, didn't George Michael already record a song about this?
"Abstinence is natural - Abstinence is good
Not everybody does it
But everybody should
Abstinence is natural - Abstinence is fun
Abstinence is best when it's....one on one"
Oh, wait. No....
Hmmmm. Wait a minute: Let's recap, here:
Bristol said while pregnant that abstinence does not work. Actually, I think here words "unrealistic."
Now, she says abstinence is the only way to fight teen pregnancy -- pregnancy, which ruined her life, except it isn't really ruined, because she loves her baby so much and life is good. (Confused yet?)
Let's see....If I were a really confused teen who wanted more love and attention in my life, wouldn't Bristol's new life actually appear pretty appealing right now? I think it would. Look at the way Todd Palin looks at her, now....which is kind of odd, actually -- is his supposed to be a "doting" look or, what? Where's his wife?
Anyhow, let's face it, teens mostly get pregnant because the didn't tell the guy to pull out in time, not in an organized plot to get more parental attention.
Hello? Trigger or Tripp or Tag (Tigger?) or whatever that poor baby's name is, is here not just because his clearly dopey parents "did it" without a condom (or thought). But, really, that baby is here now mostly because the teenagers who conceived him had a whole lot of unsupervised free time to conceive that baby.
Point noted: I guess next time I run for president, I'll make sure my kids have someone to drive them to and from soccer practice and see they are sleeping (alone) at home at night.
I mean, you know why teens get pregnant? Because they got horny and it felt really, really good and they didn't expect to be so carried away by things.
Truthfully, all those awkward, useless "Family Unit" classes they teach you starting in fifth grade NEVER address the obvious, which is --
-- "Sex is gonna happen. One day, sooner or later, sex will happen and it will be "a-very-big-deal" and you need to have your wits about you in so that it does not go very wrong."
"One of these days you will want to do things, things that you've been told again and again are all wrong, however, I guarantee (if you are lucky) will actually feel so right. What will you do, then?"
This discovery may be confusing, especially if it's all wrapped up in "liking someone a lot," too.
So, if you start to have sex and it actually feels so natural and right, then the question really is, "how much of this can you do before you absolutely must stop?"
(Well, personally, I believe there are two answers, the "Conservative an Moral" answer is, "Unless you are married, then stop yesterday, and do not proceed further!" Which, sadly, we all know is a concept doomed to fail.
And then there's the realistic answer, or "real one," which I believe is to wait as long as possible, but should you choose to disappoint your mother and "do it" before college, then please, please, please wear a condom, always practice safe sex 100% of the time. And make sure it's with someone who deeply cares about you who deeply trust. (Don't trust them? Don't do it.)
I digress. It's the horror movie in my mind taking over.
Let's backtrack.
Some possible questions kids may have about when to "stop" having sex.
"Will my boyfriend know when to stop?"
"Will my way-sleazier friends tell me? If you don't tell me what to do next, can I ask them for advice?"
"What if I have condoms, but we do things that I know (from "Family Unit") won't get me pregnant."
"So, what kinds of sex are actually, not so safe?"
"Why didn't they tell me what I need to have in order to fully protect myself from pregnancy and disease in those mandatory "Family Unit" classes?"
Most of these kids will not stop mid-act and call Mom to ask her how far they should go. These kids will have to make a judgement call all on their own. So we need to make sure they can make a GOOD CHOICE.
If we do not want to raise very messed up kids, they need to know that sex is, in fact, neither right or wrong.
Sex just is.
It's what allows us to exist as a species and it's a big deal: But, if you do not wear protection during sex you could very well get an STD (just show them a few photos of these!) or HIV (how about a few clips of people who got HIV from unprotected sex) and a baby (interview moms like me on how much fun my own pregnancies were - I will make girls buy stock in Trojans).
Tell them the truth about what real consequences of sex are, and make sure they are emotionally prepared for how tempting it will be to forget to be smart "during that moment." This is the part the educators all leave out. And, it's a pretty important part.
Hello? Here's what they don't tell you in school. Sex is fun. Sometimes, sex can be awful, too. There are probably great discussions that could be had regarding both these subjects.
I, as a parent, can't bear to think of my children "growing up" but refusing to deal with that step is a big mistake. We have to be brave about speaking to our kids. Or risk some dire consequences.
Talk to each other -- and certainly talk to your kids about sex.
That's all I'm saying.
Surely, it will absolutely be awkward to do so, but it's better to have an embarrassing and awkward conversation with your kid than to have a tragic one later, because you chickened out on talking with them before it became "an issue."
I am convinced that it is when people stop talking to each other that bad things happen.
Here's a link to the best piece on this from Gawker regarding Bristol and Levi and the pathetic consequences of mixed messages.
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