"The Mommy Wars" - or - How partisan politics made the playground feel that much smaller

Okay, I give up. I have so many girl friends who have told me that they're not changing and they still intend on voting Republican that I decided not to stew, but to do something about it.

So, I wrote this letter.




9-14-08


To whom it may concern:


Something different is going on. Everywhere I go. People are talking about their own politics and it's changed my entire landscape. I'm not sure if it's been called this already but if I had to describe it, I'd have to call it "The Mommy Wars."

Let me explain.

Over the past eight years I began watching the news so closely that I (incorrectly) started assuming most other people who follow the news were also probably Democratic. If this sounds elitist, I apologize, it's just that I simply didn't understand how one could learn the cause and effect of all that's happened during the last eight years could not be opposed to it.

But, now I stand corrected: Apparently, my beliefs have me in the minority. And I find I'm suddenly thrust into "The Mommy Wars."

For the past 12 years I have been surrounded by all sorts of people who I live near, or work with, or who go to school with and play with my children.

Recently I have been shocked to discover how often I've stood alone in my support of Barack Obama.

In the past three weeks I have heard countless diatribes as to how and why the person I'm talking to still intends to stick with their voting records and continue to vote Republican next November. And it does deeply sadden me.

This is what they must be referring to when they talk about "The Mommy Wars." Because, it's come between other women who I until recently would have lain my life down for. I don't know how to process this change in how politics have touched my personal life the ways it has.

I can see now, that my friend's Republican leanings have actually never changed since I've known them, I always accepted people for their differences and celebrated diversity and respected other people's point of view, so, so what if they vote for a party other than my own? Well, actually, it matters a lot.

Actually, things have changed now in ways I never expected. I've changed. And I didn't realize how very much I take this next election personally, but I do. And how other the people in this country's vote matters deeply to me. Every single vote matters to me, now. Especially the votes of the people who I daily share my life with.

What's ironic is that this seems at first glance to be a mere "Party" issue. As if simply voting Republican Or Democratic is the bottom line here. It's much more complex than that. And anyone who tells you it's just a partisan battle is only trying to fool you.

Even though I have always previously voted democratic, if Teddy Roosevelt or Barry Goldwater were running for the Republican party today, I may very well have voted Republican. And why not? They were not radicals. They didn't have a personal agenda. They didn't think they were morally better than the rest of the country. They believed in separation of church and state. And they were financially conservative. They created our National Parks. And I love them for doing that.

But, the Republicans of today are not those of yesterday. Not by a long shot. I think the Republican party today is corrupt, selfish and immoral. Strong words. But, I do. They lie, they cheat and they steal. And they aren't even doing it for a good cause. (That I may actually respect.) But, they don't. They do it out of pure selfishness and reckless disregard for the planet, which is why I feel so strongly about it.

The concept of truly being conservative is so far and removed from what is Republican, now, that I am extremely worried for our planet, frankly.

As I see it, Republicans today are duplicitous. They say the care, but they don't.

The Bush Doctrine is radical and actually neo-conservative. This means they want to put illogical, medieval religious believes into our laws and schools. They don't want your brother or your daughter to be married to someone who happens to be their own gender. (For instance, Dick Cheney's daughter is married to another women. Why does his family get a judgemental pass on this?) So, tell me again, why is any of this the government's business?

Republicans (of today) think you should believe in God, (and not just any God, their God).

They do not think it matters that the ice caps are melting. And those hurricanes? So what? They don't live in New Orleans. Who gives a damn? They can just drill in the Arctic, now. Who cares that the Gulf of Mexico washed away in the new uber-storms of this century? Just let the Habitat For Humanity volunteers go out there for while. They like doing that kind of thing, anyway.

As I see it Republicans only want more oil and more money. And they will kill for it while calling it patriotic. That's wrong. It is immoral and frankly, un-American.

The nay-saying Sarah Palin's can call my concerns just "gloom and doom;" but I actually take the time to read the news. To read Time and Newsweek. To actually sit down and watch PBS and Frontline. I call it taking the time to learn the facts.

I wish things weren't this screwed up, but they are and the only way to begin work, is to begin work. It involves facing reality and making sacrifices which is what the Democratic party is about.

Maybe the parties of tomorrow will shift into something else, but for this election? It's about the environment and Iraq and how to put food on the table.

Over time I have realized that for me elections are deeply personal. They effect my life, and more so, the lives of my children.

I care deeply about this planet and I accept the moral responsibility to make choices I know will protect our planet We can win if we think out of the box and find new ways to survive, today. In fact, that is the only way to win. Squeezing the globe dry of oil is beyond counter-productive, it's stupid and evil.

Am I still not shocked and profoundly hurt that many of my "Mommy" friends don't intend veer from their long standing commitment to voting Republican in this next election? You bet. Who wouldn't want their friends to share the same beliefs? But, it's deeper than that. It means people are either that ignorant or that selfish. And in coming to grips with these differences amongst us, I realize that my world is different than it was a year ago, or eight years ago or a decade ago.

Perhaps my journey into "The Mommy Wars" is a far more common than I thought. Perhaps this partisan-social awkwardness isn't unique to other people either. What does seem different is: People are now actually talking about their beliefs.

And that's a good thing.

I think finding a common-truth for everyone is very challenging during these times. I wish it were otherwise, but this is a challenging time. I wish I could get people to absorb the facts without going into denial, but I can't. And in the end, they have my sympathy. Because in the end, their children will be injured by the choices we make right now. Today. And I know they love their children.

Look, I value my female friends and I will fight to keep them close to me, but this next election is different. It is personal. I care so much how people vote.

(Please note that regarding the subject "The Mommy Wars?" that I have not once mentioned Sarah Palin once. And I could have, and probably will another time, but not in this letter.)

Thanks for reading.

Louise Larsen