Eric Schaeffer: Mr. Lonely is just Mr. Oblivious

For the first time, there's finally a woman on "I Can't Believe I'm Still Single" who was genuinely terrific, but Schaeffer still, astonishingly, tossed her back into the sea without even noticing how great she was.

Amazing.

Here was this assertive, cute, funny, British "Lily Allen" type, and he can't even bare to share the screen with her!

During the show she was sweet, affectionate and playful and next thing you know, he sends her to sit out of shot in the kitchen after coming over to kiss him!  Then, later he just bores her to tears on the couch, then, "See ya!  Don't let the door hit you as you leave!"

Completely blind to the fact that finally here was everything (and more, actually) that he's been whining he could never find, right under his nose!

Her name is Maxi Wild.

It was hard to find a photo online as interesting as she was on "I Can't Believe I'm Still Single," however this one will have to do for now.



Right, so, if this is your first time reading my episode re-caps:  Let me back up:

I've been following Eric Schaeffer's semi-autobiographical-show called "I can't believe I'm still single."  It's now Season three.

This week's show introduced a British woman from Los Angeles, Maxi Wild, who was adorable, talented, articulate, gorgeous, real, open, funny, kind and...?

And...?

Eric Schaeffer, the guy the show is about:  The guy who makes a career out of his search for the perfect woman had sex with her for maybe six minutes and then he just shows her the door.   It was downhill from there.  Cooked something in the kitchen and then got tired and showed her the door in the middle of the night.

Done.

Done?


Mr. Lonely?  Mr. "I-can't-find-a-chick-to-love?"

What a jerk.   A total empty jerk.  He doesn't even recognize a great woman when she's right under his nose!  Idiot.  He gets what he gets.

Didn't even walk downstairs with her to get her a cab.  Very poor manners.

Did I mention she dropped everything and just up and flew to NYC from LA that very night to see him?

She did this.  For him.  And she had sex with him her upon her arrival, after flying in a crowded airplane for five hours straight, and then he shows her the door.

Nice!

He.  Is.  Oblivious.

O-fucking-blivious.

She was waaaaayyyyyyyy, way too good for him.  At least on this show she was.  I checked out her photos and videos on the internet before writing this.  And my husband started to laugh at me.  He heard me clucking and saying "She's just not taking herself seriously!"  "Why isn't there any photos here that capture how appealing and soft and open she was on the show?"

He said "It's funny how maternal you are with Eric's girlfriends." And I agreed that I do feel very protective of them for the most part.  Especially this girl.  She's much better than she seems to know.  The music doesn't showcase what's so unique about her, but, oh well.  She'll get it one day.

But, what's unforgivable is that he doesn't even seem to know it.   Doesn't get what's so valuable about her right under his nose!

Did I mention that she flew from Los Angeles, that very night, to be with him and he did NOT even walk downstairs to get her a ride home safely?

I'm sorry.  When I lived in NYC this was considered sheer booty-call protocol.    Tacky.

And she was simply way to good for him.

I hope she finds a manager who will showcase her considerable talent, and a man to have babies with that will love and adore her the way she deserves to be loved and appreciated.

I hope Eric gets therapy.


_________________________



I should add this:

Right now my husband's looking up from a book he's reading.  He laughs and says:

"Oh, my God.  You're just so mean to the guy.  He's like the dog you kick to the curb every week."

And, I say, "Really?  I'm mean?"

It's true.

But, I really do try to start out each show attempting to be fair.

However, by the time I finally get to the end of his shows I just want to whack him for being such a dolt about women.  For overlooking what is truly good in people. For focusing so much on the shallow.  For finding such deep pockets for such junk when there are so many great artists out there who will never get on national television.  Oh, well.  That's life.  A good salesman is a good salesman whether or not the product is good.

Look, I am sorry if I'm too harsh on him, but every week I'm so irritated by his illogical thought process that I figure, "Hey!  He gets what he gets."

Besides, if anyone can take it, he can.

Comments

Michael Koenig said…
This is the first time since episode two that Eric has had a date with a woman who isn't pretending to be his girlfriend. It's been either sex workers or the actress he hired to play Mela. (I'm not counting the "foxy black chick" who works at a bank. Are we ever going to see her?)

I didn't see much of a love connection here, in spite of Ebner's interview questions about her attitude toward making babies and maintaining a bicoastal relationship. (Did Eric put him up to it, or is that just the standard pre-interview at this point?) She seems like she's just having a good time with her sex buddy, and maybe she'll get a little boost for her musical career. (Her Facebook page has a bunch of pictures of her in NYC in February 2010 with a guy who appears to be her brother, so the "flying out to NYC for the weekend on an hour's notice" story may be bogus.)

The sexual harassment of the actress auditioning was a bit creepy, and did we really need yet another audition montage? When are they going to finish casting this movie anyway?

In further proof that we need to use every single piece of footage shot, did we really need that bit of dialogue about the need to find another casting space because of the snow? And wow this show is claustrophobic. I feel like I've spent more time in Eric's apartment than my own home.

To defend Eric a little bit, the "six minutes of sex" bit was a obviously a joke. When Maxi arrived at the apartment, it said "Six Hours Later" and when they left the bedroom it said "Six Minutes Later." Better than six seconds at least.

Eric is so consistent about never accompanying his dates to wait for their transportation home that I wonder if it's almost another OCD thing with him. He's explained it on the show by saying that he's got the crew waiting for him, but that explanation makes no sense.

Again, the pacing is so weird. It seems like he has some sort of ongoing relationship with Maxi (casual and non-exclusive), but he doesn't mention her until Episode Six? Would his future wife just fill the role that Ebner currently fills in his life, just sort of hanging around his apartment, waiting for him to figure out what he wants to do that day?

Another odd bit of vanity is that he seems to be shaving ten years off his age in the scene where he reminisces fondly with Ebner about their first shared experience with a prostitute (and exactly how much he paid, and what services he received! He's got the same memory for this stuff that Chuck Berry has for money.) Anyway, he says that his first experience with a prostitute was 17 years ago, when he would have been 31. Probably more like 27 years ago, right, when he and Ebner were in college together?

Wow, this is a ridiculously long comment.
Anonymous said…
He really is an ass who takes himself way too seriously.

I dug his movies but stopped watching his show after season 1 when I attempted to email some friendly and construction criticism only for him to have an email hissy fit on me.

I'm pretty sure Eric Schaeffer is the only person who can't believe Eric Schaeffer is still single.

-Buster B
You are welcome to repost your former email here anytime you care to.

That sounds entertaining.

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