"Still Single" and The Mystery of the Mad Crapper
This week's episode of Still Single, Season 3, Ep. 8, was delayed by, let's just call it an act of Christmas charity.
I will tell you this: During this episode we spent almost the entire time with the Hardy Boys while they attempted to solve The Mystery of The Mad Crapper and Who Soiled the Spunk King's Bathtub?
During this episode, which aired during Christmas week, I gave up focusing on why Eric Schaeffer's potty might back up to his tub. Or why on earth anyone would intentionally do this at all. It really made Eric seem most mad to waste film footage on it.
Frankly, this episode reminded me of what raising boys must be like. I have girls. The issues, while just as ludicrous, are, in fact, vastly different. This week I was reminded that boys really like talking about bodily functions and sex.
In the end sitting down to try to articulate, for this wee blog, just what the hell they were all doing in this week's show seemed like a perverse waste of my attention while wrapping Christmas gifts for my kids and stuffing their stockings on the fly.
However, I will attempt to briefly bring all you many, breathless Eric Schaeffer fans up to speed before the Pacific feed of the next I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M STILL SINGLE episode finishes airing.
So, here's what happened.
First, Eric kisses his deli owner's ass for some unknown reason. Maybe to show us how friendly Eric is to EVERYONE, even the most mundane characters in this Showtime cable offering.
During his long winded and condescending chat with the corner market guy, he then gets to the point and asks to be fixed up with the deli owner's Indian connections into some kind of arranged marriage. Why am I not surprised that a midnight run for junk food is then spun into a possible hook up? Okay.
What else?
There are various cuts of the embarrassing clips from the lousy film My Life's in Turnaround.
For the record, I can't fathom why they would dredge this clunker up now.
Leaving that indie (low budget) film dead and buried would have been the wisest thing to do. Apparently, succeeding in show biz is not nearly as tough as I thought. Good news for hacks everywhere!
Why remind us you can and have made junk? That's the real mystery. I mean, Donny Ward seems like a bright and creative writer, I can only surmise that he, too, has fallen under the spell of Schaeffer's talent for spinning gold into crap. Schaeffer would have been a great used car salesman.
I digress.
Then we are back in Eric's apartment. We have to hear Eric talk a lot about his food issues. And Mark Ebner and Em Sinick attempt to reason with him.
Mark busts Eric about "dating Stephanie" and made a Polanski parallel, which I appreciated. And I appreciated that Mark kept this issue in play later in front Schaeffer's film partner, Donny Ward. Shrewd move. And, for me, most entertaining.
Then, Ward tells Schaeffer he isn't happy about Schaeffer hitting on one of the actors and Schaeffer retorts, "Then sell me one of your girls! Sell me one of your fucking Facebook girls."
Meanwhile, later that night back at Eric's place we get to the poopy part.
Eric Schaeffer accuses Mark Ebner of taking a disgusting "sh*t" in his bathtub.
Yes, you did hear this right.
Then Mark, points at the camera man, and says "No, Stas (Cinematographer StasTagios) took a Sh*t in the bathtub," which is actually a bit plausible given the comedy routine of the woman he married (Wendy Ho, and former Schaeffer date).
Anyhow, this is what they mostly fought about during this show which aired two days before Christmas.
Later, Mark tries to argue his innocence while Stas gets lovely footage of Eric's buttcrack while Eric scours his tub like a madman. And, well, this is how it rolled.
And by the time I post this, the next episode will have aired.
I will tell you this: During this episode we spent almost the entire time with the Hardy Boys while they attempted to solve The Mystery of The Mad Crapper and Who Soiled the Spunk King's Bathtub?
During this episode, which aired during Christmas week, I gave up focusing on why Eric Schaeffer's potty might back up to his tub. Or why on earth anyone would intentionally do this at all. It really made Eric seem most mad to waste film footage on it.
Frankly, this episode reminded me of what raising boys must be like. I have girls. The issues, while just as ludicrous, are, in fact, vastly different. This week I was reminded that boys really like talking about bodily functions and sex.
In the end sitting down to try to articulate, for this wee blog, just what the hell they were all doing in this week's show seemed like a perverse waste of my attention while wrapping Christmas gifts for my kids and stuffing their stockings on the fly.
However, I will attempt to briefly bring all you many, breathless Eric Schaeffer fans up to speed before the Pacific feed of the next I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M STILL SINGLE episode finishes airing.
So, here's what happened.
First, Eric kisses his deli owner's ass for some unknown reason. Maybe to show us how friendly Eric is to EVERYONE, even the most mundane characters in this Showtime cable offering.
During his long winded and condescending chat with the corner market guy, he then gets to the point and asks to be fixed up with the deli owner's Indian connections into some kind of arranged marriage. Why am I not surprised that a midnight run for junk food is then spun into a possible hook up? Okay.
What else?
There are various cuts of the embarrassing clips from the lousy film My Life's in Turnaround.
For the record, I can't fathom why they would dredge this clunker up now.
Leaving that indie (low budget) film dead and buried would have been the wisest thing to do. Apparently, succeeding in show biz is not nearly as tough as I thought. Good news for hacks everywhere!
Why remind us you can and have made junk? That's the real mystery. I mean, Donny Ward seems like a bright and creative writer, I can only surmise that he, too, has fallen under the spell of Schaeffer's talent for spinning gold into crap. Schaeffer would have been a great used car salesman.
I digress.
Then we are back in Eric's apartment. We have to hear Eric talk a lot about his food issues. And Mark Ebner and Em Sinick attempt to reason with him.
Mark busts Eric about "dating Stephanie" and made a Polanski parallel, which I appreciated. And I appreciated that Mark kept this issue in play later in front Schaeffer's film partner, Donny Ward. Shrewd move. And, for me, most entertaining.
Then, Ward tells Schaeffer he isn't happy about Schaeffer hitting on one of the actors and Schaeffer retorts, "Then sell me one of your girls! Sell me one of your fucking Facebook girls."
Meanwhile, later that night back at Eric's place we get to the poopy part.
Eric Schaeffer accuses Mark Ebner of taking a disgusting "sh*t" in his bathtub.
Yes, you did hear this right.
Then Mark, points at the camera man, and says "No, Stas (Cinematographer StasTagios) took a Sh*t in the bathtub," which is actually a bit plausible given the comedy routine of the woman he married (Wendy Ho, and former Schaeffer date).
Anyhow, this is what they mostly fought about during this show which aired two days before Christmas.
Later, Mark tries to argue his innocence while Stas gets lovely footage of Eric's buttcrack while Eric scours his tub like a madman. And, well, this is how it rolled.
And by the time I post this, the next episode will have aired.
Comments
Though Eric doesn't give us much guidance on the timeline of anything in this show, it seems as if each episode contains one 24-hour day in the preparation for the movie. (It's almost like a Dogme film! Eric doesn't believe in editing!) His life simply isn't interesting enough to distill a half-hour of TV out of each day.
We're never going to see Christina the Foxy Black Chick Who Works in a Bank, are we? (The fact that we haven't seen her or heard her voice implies that they never got a release.)
I was amused by Eric's nonsequitor about Buddha during his bathtub rant.
Eric makes a great ambassador to other cultures, doesn't he? In this episode, it's the poor Indian deli owner. In Episode 9 he interacts with Orthodox Jews!
So when do we get to hear your Henry Gibson story? (Eric's stepfather looks a little like him, doesn't he?)
Two more episodes left. Final Stretch.
Maybe we'll even catch a glimpse of the foxy bank teller before end of Season 3.