"Still Single" S3, E7: Apparently the couch is still occupied.
Sooooo, here we are: S3, E7 (Which means, Season three, episode 7)
BTW: This is me. Last summer. On my third, and final, attempt to get through this book.
Back to the show:
This week, during the longer than usual winter casting session for Ward/Schaeffer's sequal we learn a few things that kind of jumped out at me, for reasons only The Shadow could possibly shed light on:
First we learn that Eric's agent "threw out" Tony Roberts for the so-called "F. Murray Abraham"character, whatever that means.
Then we learn that Donal Ward's mom went on a date with Tony Roberts "about 40 years ago." I wonder why Eric can even afford a seasoned, Tony award-winning actor for this obviously low budget B-Film. The bad thing about union actors is that they expect fair pay.
Anyhow, this led Eric to share that his mom once went out with Henry Gibson.
And then, something personal happened when I heard this: I had this big old flashback to BUHS rehearsal days back in 1978. I remember one day when this subject was all Eric could talk about: His mom dating Henry Gibson. Who cares? Nobody cared then, nobody does now.
*Note* For those of you who do not remember my earlier posting about Eric Schaeffer's semi-autobiographical show: It all started, my blogging, because I remembered that he did a play with me in high school in Vermont one year.
Since then I dropped him a line asking if he remembered anything about the play we did together, and Schaeffer's response was that he was "just too wasted" in high school to remember anything. To which I say, "Right." Uh, me, too. I was only sober for the cool parts.
Which, naturally, this all just makes me want to poke him, again, with a fork. Because if you read his "Semi-Autobiographical" history you would think he only grew up in New York which I find disingenuous and irritating for a variety of reasons. Just because he considers the Vt. part of his life to be uncool, he "forgot" it? To which I say, nice try, Dude. All our childhoods have uncool parts in them. You don't GET to rewrite the uncool parts. You have to own them.
Back to the show:
After one woman's audition Eric comments "I'm not gonna lie, that girl had great tits!" but, then Ward pipes in, she's also has declined to be on THIS show! (LOL)
Em agrees the breasts were great.
Ward wisely sticks to his point "You can't talk about the women like that. You can't do it!"
Ward is looking better and better to me.
Eric later whines that "none of the Puerto Ricans actors want to be on camera...All the Sanchez's don't want to on the camera."
Donny sticks to his professional guns, here. I love him for this.
But, then Mark Ebner joins in: "And did you notice that every Jew wants to be on camera, though?"
And Eric's response: "Because they're smart! Because the Jews know at least if I don't get the movie, I get to be on the Showtime Show."
Wow. Okay. On camera they say this? Okay. I'm sitting with Ward, here. The only real professional in the room, apparently.
Donny says the only TRULY funny line in this show: "You know what? They may do a recount for "Douchebag Of The Year?...If you keep going down the line?"
Donny, you called it.
Eric: (Whines) "Why do you say fucking mean shit like that?"
Donny: "Because you're saying the craziest, racial shit."
Then Eric claims he is married to a Puerto Rican. Which makes zero sense. AS USUAL. I mean, does this mean if my great, great grandfather had a child out of wedlock with a grossly underpaid African American woman that he's exempt from being accused of prejudice and sexual harassment? Uh, not really.
Then the perky, upwardly mobile, scorpio casting assistant says the "black chick at the bank wants to see how hard you are willing to work at it."
Eric replies: "What? -- The Puss? The woo-woo?"
Nice talk, guys. Keep it up. The casting assistant does keep it up and winds up getting a JOB in the movie. The scorpio chick. Which brings me to note the one one valid point Eric makes in this entire episodes: Scorpios do all gut and eat the entrails of all Aquarians and then do a happy dance on them. I will stand by him on this one. They are our nemesis. They answer our questions with questions. Lure us in and then kill us. And she will end up driving him insane on the shoot. You get what you get.
Flash forward: We are in Eric's apartment with (presumably) only his good pal Alison (who I actually really like) and we watch them eating his home cooked fodder on the couch while watching The final show of The Bachelor. They maybe could use some more interesting set decoration. Or a maid.
Eric is really excited about the finale of The Bachelor. Alison, not so. (Wonder why?)
Then the phone rings and (surprise!) The fake Mela shows up to weasel her way back into Eric's affections on camera. Oh, she's just outside the door! And in full make up and with that perfect hair. How odd!
The whole thing is awkward and bizarre. And only Alison's very real reaction to this made me wonder if it may perhaps not have been scripted? But, I now presume almost everything in this show ends up being scripted, so I don't trust much anymore.
But, then he reluctantly agrees to "date" (again) Stephanie, aka, the woman who he has hired to act the part of his real life girl friend who has cerebral palsy, Mela.
Then he tells Mela about this and she says that's not cool with her. A physically challenged woman who that night was just dumped by someone else. Nice guy, that Eric.
Then Mark tries to tell him to see reason, but Eric doesn't and then Eric spews about how similar his life REALLY IS to The Bachelor (in your dreams) and then storms off to pig out on Ne-Mo's Bars.
Hmm. Binge and purge much? After seeing the film "Black Swan" this week I'm beginning to think Eric would have been a great ballerina with all his food issues.
And....End show.
Btw, I like Alison. I really like her every time she's on camera. He needs more people on his show to call him on his crap. I especially liked the moment when she mouthed to and to Mark (Ebner) and Em ("Whatever") behind Eric's back.
I should add that once again, Ebner did try to talk sense into Eric. To no avail. He's not a Ne-Mo bar.
Okay. That's my wrap.
I have a funny story to work on now. It has to do with the very first time my path crossed with Eric Schaeffer.
I have a few boxes of photos to check out first. Stay tuned.
BTW: This is me. Last summer. On my third, and final, attempt to get through this book.
Back to the show:
This week, during the longer than usual winter casting session for Ward/Schaeffer's sequal we learn a few things that kind of jumped out at me, for reasons only The Shadow could possibly shed light on:
First we learn that Eric's agent "threw out" Tony Roberts for the so-called "F. Murray Abraham"character, whatever that means.
Then we learn that Donal Ward's mom went on a date with Tony Roberts "about 40 years ago." I wonder why Eric can even afford a seasoned, Tony award-winning actor for this obviously low budget B-Film. The bad thing about union actors is that they expect fair pay.
Anyhow, this led Eric to share that his mom once went out with Henry Gibson.
And then, something personal happened when I heard this: I had this big old flashback to BUHS rehearsal days back in 1978. I remember one day when this subject was all Eric could talk about: His mom dating Henry Gibson. Who cares? Nobody cared then, nobody does now.
*Note* For those of you who do not remember my earlier posting about Eric Schaeffer's semi-autobiographical show: It all started, my blogging, because I remembered that he did a play with me in high school in Vermont one year.
Since then I dropped him a line asking if he remembered anything about the play we did together, and Schaeffer's response was that he was "just too wasted" in high school to remember anything. To which I say, "Right." Uh, me, too. I was only sober for the cool parts.
Which, naturally, this all just makes me want to poke him, again, with a fork. Because if you read his "Semi-Autobiographical" history you would think he only grew up in New York which I find disingenuous and irritating for a variety of reasons. Just because he considers the Vt. part of his life to be uncool, he "forgot" it? To which I say, nice try, Dude. All our childhoods have uncool parts in them. You don't GET to rewrite the uncool parts. You have to own them.
Back to the show:
After one woman's audition Eric comments "I'm not gonna lie, that girl had great tits!" but, then Ward pipes in, she's also has declined to be on THIS show! (LOL)
Em agrees the breasts were great.
Ward wisely sticks to his point "You can't talk about the women like that. You can't do it!"
Ward is looking better and better to me.
Eric later whines that "none of the Puerto Ricans actors want to be on camera...All the Sanchez's don't want to on the camera."
Donny sticks to his professional guns, here. I love him for this.
But, then Mark Ebner joins in: "And did you notice that every Jew wants to be on camera, though?"
And Eric's response: "Because they're smart! Because the Jews know at least if I don't get the movie, I get to be on the Showtime Show."
Wow. Okay. On camera they say this? Okay. I'm sitting with Ward, here. The only real professional in the room, apparently.
Donny says the only TRULY funny line in this show: "You know what? They may do a recount for "Douchebag Of The Year?...If you keep going down the line?"
Donny, you called it.
Eric: (Whines) "Why do you say fucking mean shit like that?"
Donny: "Because you're saying the craziest, racial shit."
Then Eric claims he is married to a Puerto Rican. Which makes zero sense. AS USUAL. I mean, does this mean if my great, great grandfather had a child out of wedlock with a grossly underpaid African American woman that he's exempt from being accused of prejudice and sexual harassment? Uh, not really.
Then the perky, upwardly mobile, scorpio casting assistant says the "black chick at the bank wants to see how hard you are willing to work at it."
Eric replies: "What? -- The Puss? The woo-woo?"
Nice talk, guys. Keep it up. The casting assistant does keep it up and winds up getting a JOB in the movie. The scorpio chick. Which brings me to note the one one valid point Eric makes in this entire episodes: Scorpios do all gut and eat the entrails of all Aquarians and then do a happy dance on them. I will stand by him on this one. They are our nemesis. They answer our questions with questions. Lure us in and then kill us. And she will end up driving him insane on the shoot. You get what you get.
Flash forward: We are in Eric's apartment with (presumably) only his good pal Alison (who I actually really like) and we watch them eating his home cooked fodder on the couch while watching The final show of The Bachelor. They maybe could use some more interesting set decoration. Or a maid.
Eric is really excited about the finale of The Bachelor. Alison, not so. (Wonder why?)
Then the phone rings and (surprise!) The fake Mela shows up to weasel her way back into Eric's affections on camera. Oh, she's just outside the door! And in full make up and with that perfect hair. How odd!
The whole thing is awkward and bizarre. And only Alison's very real reaction to this made me wonder if it may perhaps not have been scripted? But, I now presume almost everything in this show ends up being scripted, so I don't trust much anymore.
But, then he reluctantly agrees to "date" (again) Stephanie, aka, the woman who he has hired to act the part of his real life girl friend who has cerebral palsy, Mela.
Then he tells Mela about this and she says that's not cool with her. A physically challenged woman who that night was just dumped by someone else. Nice guy, that Eric.
Then Mark tries to tell him to see reason, but Eric doesn't and then Eric spews about how similar his life REALLY IS to The Bachelor (in your dreams) and then storms off to pig out on Ne-Mo's Bars.
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| The Ne-Mo's 3 oz Chocolate Cake Square has 300 Calories, 110 Calories from fat, 12g of Total Fat, 3g Saturated Fat, 0g Trans Fat, 35mg Cholesterol, 280mg Sodium, 44g Total Carbohydrates, 2g Dietary Fiber, 30g Sugar, and 4g Protein. | | |||||
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| The Ne-Mo's 3 oz Double Chocolate Cake Square has 300 Calories, 120 Calories from fat, 14g of Total Fat, 4g Saturated Fat, 0g Trans Fat, 35mg Cholesterol, 300mg Sodium, 42g Total Carbohydrates, 1g Dietary Fiber, 29g Sugar, and 4g Protein. | ||||||
And....End show.
Btw, I like Alison. I really like her every time she's on camera. He needs more people on his show to call him on his crap. I especially liked the moment when she mouthed to and to Mark (Ebner) and Em ("Whatever") behind Eric's back.
I should add that once again, Ebner did try to talk sense into Eric. To no avail. He's not a Ne-Mo bar.
Okay. That's my wrap.
I have a funny story to work on now. It has to do with the very first time my path crossed with Eric Schaeffer.
I have a few boxes of photos to check out first. Stay tuned.