I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M STILL BENNY HILL



Will the real Eric Schaeffer please stand up?

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M STILL BENNY HILL

No doubt, this season seems quite different from the first, or second, because this show really stinks.

It's gone from looking like it was about looking for true love, to, at best, resembling a very bad Benny Hill skit.  Again, and again and again...

The amount of real effort put into to this season seems to have dwindled, and it shows.  

There's no real "dating" going on at all that we can see.  This makes the premise of the title of the series just seem obsolete.

I don't get what is going on here at all anymore.

Even in the first ten minutes of the show the amount  of pure drivel is astonishing.  Why should we care about some of the random, stupid things Eric and Donny are talking about here?  Childhood photos chit chat?  Is it cool to say that an aunt looks hot in a photo?  Wearing white makes you appear chubby.  On and on...

The first funny laugh is when Mark Ebner  (in a really choppy edit, I might add with not much connection to prior conversation) finally brings up that Eric was once (nominated to be)"Douche Bag of the Year on the Internet."  *Note link at end of post.

Naturally, Eric angrily fumes at this.  (Or, at least pretends to.)

Eric:  "Why would you fucking bring that up???!

"Why?  Why would you bring up that fucking douche --

"You think I wanna fucking know that I won douche bag of the year?  I told you, I don't want to hear fucking negative, weird, bullshit criticism, okay?

"The fact that -- why do you think that I would want to hear that I was a douche bag of the fucking year?  You think that makes me happy?"

Donny:  "You didn't win."
Eric:  Looking hard of hearing and confused.
Donny:  "You didn't win douche bag of the year."

Ebner cuts in that actually Joe Francis won.  

Eric says "Oh, please!  I should have won."


Season Three.  Episode 4, of "I Can't Believe I'm Still Single," 
Starring Eric Schaeffer and Mark Ebner.

Look, I realize that some of you may find this hard to believe, but I'm beginning to find watching this about as much fun as watching a cat barf up hair balls.

Witnessing a cat hock up a loogie-hair-ball can be disturbing to behold, but also something you really can't tear your eyes away from and just want over with so everyone can safely move on.

However, there was one surprise -- the introduction of the "really bad acting scene" where Eric is pretend-attacked while Mark and Em look on and decide to film through a window instead of call the police.  Very porn.

The Saran wrap thing did surprise me, not the violence, just the tackiness of it all.  Not only did it seem way too toxic for someone as organic-fussy as he claims to be, but that the entire scene just reeked of  "More Naughty Hijinx by Benny Hill!"

Oh, and, nice "Surprise Face!" by Ebner.  Really good commitment to the scene, I have to say.  Much more fun than, say, Donny's remote and removed "banter" between he and Eric for the first (dull) third of the show.  (Yawn.)

And very nice "How Beige Can I Get?" acting by Em.  Not that much commitment to the scene in Em's on screen work.  

You know when a cat falls off a table and lands wrong?  They get that embarrassed, "Oh, I didn't mean to do that" kind-of face on?  Well, that's what Em looked like to me in this episode.

I will say that Ebner looked genuinely serious, shocked, even lurid, at times, but he still seemed quite game to carry off any elaborate schemes in their faux documentary-style manner which I think qualifies him for a raise.

But, I pretty much just found myself wondering just how lame it could get, to be honest.

And I had to pinch myself to stay awake a few times, but maybe it was because of all that turkey I'd eaten the night before at Thanksgiving.

Didn't know if I had L-Triptophan poisoning, or something.

And, what I really have to ask is this:  Why is it this show always leaves me feeling like I need to bathe after viewing it?

Maybe that's because, in all honesty, he really has completely morphed into Benny Hill: One more balding, pudgy sleaze-bag who thinks it's interesting and/or funny to chase tarts.


And so, my conclusion is this:
Eric Schaeffer and Benny Hill:  Twins separated at birth.



*  (Link to said contest: "Who's the Douche of the Decade?"  -- I heart Gawker.)

Comments

Ron said…
I actually liked the first part for some reason. I think I enjoy the contrast Donny provides to Eric. Donny has said he doesn't want to be a reality show character, but he's actually seems likeable.
You did?

It was warm, I guess. It had that going for it, but it was also Just rambling and not connected to the plot/theme, I felt.

I guess I'm still waiting for the funny and insightful "Bachelor" type of vignettes that were so entertaining in the first/second season.
Sasha said…
I sadly agree. And as each episode passes I can no longer defend Eric Schaeffer any longer. I stand by how much I adored season 1 (which was my first introduction to who the guy actually was) and maybe it was because I sat through the entire first season with a nursing baby in my arms wondering where the fuck my life actually went, but I truly liked Eric and agreed with a lot of his points of view on certain subjects. I loved the first season because of the real human interaction and different views from various people on love and life.
With this season he has not only jumped the shark, he has swallowed it whole (don't think that makes much sense but whatever). I honestly don't know if he plans to spend the entire season trying to defend himself and his actions to the world or what but it's disappointing and repetitive to say the least. What really gets to me is how often he keeps saying that his show isn't a "reality" show, but a "documentary". Yet he has all these obviously scripted scenes.

Thankfully I do still like Mark and Em....
Yep. Mark and Em are the winners of this season's show.
I agree with you 100% on that one.

It's sure hard to deny Schaeffer's artistic digression on his artistic bounty for 2010. But, hey, this yea'rs been a doozy for the universe, so what else is new?

But, even, -- hello? I mean, what fuck was director John Sayles doing in that clip with them? It was non-stop cringe.

Jesus God, time for some of that spiked Christmas egg nog by the bucket, I think.

I know it is for me!
Michael Koenig said…
The thing that good reality shows and documentaries have in common is editing. A season of MY LIFE ON THE D-LIST contains the most entertaining moments over several months of filming. This show feels like they used every single piece of footage they shot. I honestly can't figure out what reaction Eric's going for here. Are all the arguments supposed to be funny? Are we supposed to congratulate him for his brutal honesty? I can't figure it out at all.

For all the fakery, I do think that we're getting a pretty honest portrait of who Eric really is: incredibly vain and self-centered, totally OCD, and a born hustler who will do whatever it takes to get the movie made. He's also one of those people who relates to his friends primarily through ongoing bickering.

I was shocked (but nor particularly surprised) by the "breath play." Never thought I would see a naked man covered in Saran Wrap on my TV. And Eric's description of having the same sex worker come to his office building and having the security guard discover her "raping" him in the men's room? Pretty far out there. But remember, this is only a small part of his sexuality, something he only does only once or twice a year.

And then in the next episode we get the other side of Eric's relations with women--his third-rate Woody Allen romantic comedy scene--except that his romantic interest is an actress hired (but probably not paid) to pretend to be his girlfriend.

Donny actually mentioned why John Sayles agreed to appear in their movie. Sayles is a big fan of Ring Lardner (Donny's great-grandfather) and later played him in EIGHT MEN OUT.
Yep:

I think it bears repeating your words:

"Never thought I would see a naked man covered in Saran Wrap on my TV."


I'll say this again: "Never thought I would see a naked man covered in Saran Wrap on my TV."
Nikita Cat said…
RE: "Witnessing a cat hock up a loogie-hair-ball can be disturbing to behold, but also something you really can't tear your eyes away from and just want over with so everyone can safely move on."

Imagine my extreme disappointment when I came across this post and found that its subject matter had absolutely nothing to do with the claims made above!

1. What exactly do you find so disturbing about watching a cat do what you describe?

While performing such a deed IS uncomfortable for us, there is always a perfectly good reason for doing so.

While I agree that it's best to get the act over with as quick as possible, if you can't bear to be witness to the deed avert your eyes, or hide in the next room until we are through!

We'll forgive you! ;-D

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