Everything I Do Gonh Be Funky From Now On

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Movie Review Update: "Black Swan" is a mother's worst nightmare.

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(Note: At the time of publishing this my oldest kid was barely 13.) Are you a parent? Do you love your daughter?  Then do not ever take her to see this movie.  Ever. For the record, it may be the holidays.  True, they release ballet films during the holidays, but "Black Swan" is no "dance movie." Frankly, it's not even a very good thriller. It's a movie about Natalie Portman  pretending to dance while looking worried and scared and flapping her arms around while she picks at her skin and toenails until they bleed. And then she picks at her skin so much that you want to run screaming from the theater because it's so creepy and gross that you can barely sit there and take it any longer. Lots of close ups of snipping at skin with nail clippers and scissors.  Lots of long shots of Portman pulling off her hangnails until the skin is stripped up and off the fingers while she winces and bleeds into the sink. -- Merry Christmas!  Here's your da...
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I tried to flush Schaeffer's sweater down the toilet.

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Especially when those paths go back even farther than high school.  I think he and I were butting heads as far back as elementary school! If my memory serves me right, Schaeffer and I ended up, briefly, in the Guilford Central School together.  Fall 1968.  Yep. I was a newly transplated girl from New Orleans dropped unceremoniously into a tiny, extremely humble elementary school out in the boondocks of southern Vermont.  I had NO idea what the hell I was doing there and was suffering my own case of "Other-itis."   I In my case, as an only child of often charming, but highly eccentric parents, my wild ride hit some very bumpy patches, More on that later. Back to Eric:  See as a newcomer that year to Vermont from New Orleans I had an accent.  I wore dresses and probably continuing too make my parents happy by literally curtseying to the adults they trotted me out to meet. Politely.  Of course.  That was my job.   I can promise ...
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