My Halloween Movie Un-Review of "Paranormal Activity"
"What was that?"
That means is this is a perfect opportunity to write my quick un-review of "Paranormal Activity" which we saw this weekend.
Here's the film's official trailer.
Here's the quick Un-Review: "Paranormal Activity" was a lot of fun, but not perfect.
And here's the longer, and admittedly more rambling review:
Unlike early reviewers claimed, "Paranormal Activity" does not out perform the "Blair Witch Project." Frankly, for a date-night movie costing over forty bucks to see, I truly wish it had. The "Blair Witch" film still is a more cohesive and suspenseful film, but this one is a very close second place.
In spite of looking forward to "Paranormal Activity" since it opened, I would only give it maybe a "B+." Even though the film started out strong, it became predictable and lost its momentum.
I will say it was novel and different the way it was shot. I liked the casual realistic/documentary style of it.
I started out prepared to be terrified. Pete will have bruises where I gripped his arm, however, the truth is eventually I stopped believing the characters and that made it less scary. When I stopped identifying with either main character I had time to detach and become far less scared.
To be honest, occasionally I thought the main characters were more like those bickering "indie" monsters from "Where The Wild Things Are," and less like a "real couple" under siege from an evil entity in suburbia.
The actress who played Katie was quite good, but she could have been amazing. What actress would NOT want to play this part completely balls-to-the-wall?! This kind of part should make any actress a legend. So much face time and so much interior change. Even if you don't find a female Jack Nicholson for the part, can you imagine a young Karen Black in the role? Yeah. That's what I'm talking about.
The moment when the boyfriend, Micah, finds Katie catatonic on the back patio I felt that this should have been either a much more darkly comic moment, or much more terrifying. We should have been worried for Micah a whole lot more at that point, or started to question our own judgement about what we were witnessing.
And, hello? Guys: If your house is repeatedly a place where evil spirits attack you: Get out.
Seriously, if something evil this way comes, or sets things on fire, or slams furniture around, don't show up for more. If your bedroom door goes "Bang!" Turn a light on, dumb-ass!
That couple kept walking around to investigate all sorts of horrible sounds ON CAMERA AND IN THE DARK, which made zero sense to me. Couldn't the movie continue to be scary if the main characters behaved a bit more realistically? Would the whole premise fall to bits if they behaved a bit more realistically?
I started to feel irritated after a while, not scared. I mean, if a demon sets your house on fire or grabs your leg and pulls you out of bed? Turn a freaking light on and get out of Amityville, pronto, you know? Duh.
I don't care if the evil thing does follow her like a hell-magnet. If it does follow her around, then get yourself to a crowded diner or to a police station when it's acting up! If an evil entity is attacking you JUST in your house, then, leave the house. Go to an Ikea, stupid! What demon would follow anyone in there?
Oh, my God! They just got so dumb that I lost all sympathy for them. I was like: "Hello, Evil: She's up there with her moron boyfriend. Have at them."
Ideally I thought the story should include the inclusion of a grand scene or two with the much, much discussed "Demon - Entity Expert." I kept waiting for that.
I also felt like the ghostbuster could have really freaked out on them more. And their reaction to that could have been so much more juicy.
Finally, I felt like the film lacked an important a big old clash of good and evil for a strong finish.
What? They, couldn't they afford just one more actor? Just one? What a great part that would have been. The wise old creep who never saw anything like that before! Cool!
Also, speaking of other missed opportunities to make a good scary movie a great one was that the lead actress never managed to metamorph in a satisfying way.
The arc of her character should have been this insidious, creepy journey for us. Is she evil? Are we imagining it? So much missed opportunity to freak people out with some great acting! I mean, that doesn't even cost anything! Where was her "Here's Johnny!" moment?
Or even one little "All work and no play makes Katie a crappy student teacher" moment? Not having moments like that really have nothing to do with budget, so I'm fairly unforgiving that there weren't more moments like that. (Dang, I'm a harsh reviewer, aren't I?)
I don't want to be a spoiler, but the film cutting in the last moments of the movie does not a great movie make. I just wanted so much more.
More missed scary moments which really would have cost nothing to include.
For instance, just in the way the film was shot: All that dark space in the background, where any little thing could happened. But, didn't. A face in the window. An out of focus picture frame on the wall in another room, in the far back of the film's frame moving ever, ever so slightly. Not in the center of the frame. That would have been great.
There were no spooky "what was that?" visual flashes to play with the mind, and it would have been so easy to do to suggest very subtle physical hints of evil lurking in the house.
It would be great to include tiny little hints in the background during all those set up shots. Moments that perhaps only one in four people might notice.
Remember the shot towards the beginning of The Exorcist up in the attic? There was this unexpected close up of a face that flashed by super quick as the camera followed the mother walk through the attic?? It was just a flash! Could have been a mask randomly hanging there, or it could have been an evil thing, or something else terrifying that foreshadowed the terror to come, but it was the quiet and unexpected close up in that seemingly random moment that entirely FREAKED ME OUT. It still does. The Exorcist absolutely scared me to death more than any other movie I've ever seen. I can't even think about "that movie" too much without starting to get the creeps.
All in all I just felt that "Paranormal" lost its former momentum in the final 30 minutes. I thought it should contain more "oomph" by the end. Guess, I'm a hard sell these days. And, also, come on! Those foot prints looked like they came from Ostrich Claus, not a demon. Oh, well.
At least we got a "date night," thanks to an unexpected and well-timed slumber party.
Now, I'm sitting in the front of the house writing this wearing a witch hat with way too much candy ready to go in little bags, but nobody's come by yet.
Hmm, it's Halloween night...and I'm all alone. Now, watch the door slam shut behind me and I'll have a heart attack, after all!
Seriously, what was that?
Here's the film's official trailer.
Here's the quick Un-Review: "Paranormal Activity" was a lot of fun, but not perfect.
And here's the longer, and admittedly more rambling review:
Unlike early reviewers claimed, "Paranormal Activity" does not out perform the "Blair Witch Project." Frankly, for a date-night movie costing over forty bucks to see, I truly wish it had. The "Blair Witch" film still is a more cohesive and suspenseful film, but this one is a very close second place.
In spite of looking forward to "Paranormal Activity" since it opened, I would only give it maybe a "B+." Even though the film started out strong, it became predictable and lost its momentum.
I will say it was novel and different the way it was shot. I liked the casual realistic/documentary style of it.
I started out prepared to be terrified. Pete will have bruises where I gripped his arm, however, the truth is eventually I stopped believing the characters and that made it less scary. When I stopped identifying with either main character I had time to detach and become far less scared.
To be honest, occasionally I thought the main characters were more like those bickering "indie" monsters from "Where The Wild Things Are," and less like a "real couple" under siege from an evil entity in suburbia.
The actress who played Katie was quite good, but she could have been amazing. What actress would NOT want to play this part completely balls-to-the-wall?! This kind of part should make any actress a legend. So much face time and so much interior change. Even if you don't find a female Jack Nicholson for the part, can you imagine a young Karen Black in the role? Yeah. That's what I'm talking about.
The moment when the boyfriend, Micah, finds Katie catatonic on the back patio I felt that this should have been either a much more darkly comic moment, or much more terrifying. We should have been worried for Micah a whole lot more at that point, or started to question our own judgement about what we were witnessing.
And, hello? Guys: If your house is repeatedly a place where evil spirits attack you: Get out.
Seriously, if something evil this way comes, or sets things on fire, or slams furniture around, don't show up for more. If your bedroom door goes "Bang!" Turn a light on, dumb-ass!
That couple kept walking around to investigate all sorts of horrible sounds ON CAMERA AND IN THE DARK, which made zero sense to me. Couldn't the movie continue to be scary if the main characters behaved a bit more realistically? Would the whole premise fall to bits if they behaved a bit more realistically?
I started to feel irritated after a while, not scared. I mean, if a demon sets your house on fire or grabs your leg and pulls you out of bed? Turn a freaking light on and get out of Amityville, pronto, you know? Duh.
I don't care if the evil thing does follow her like a hell-magnet. If it does follow her around, then get yourself to a crowded diner or to a police station when it's acting up! If an evil entity is attacking you JUST in your house, then, leave the house. Go to an Ikea, stupid! What demon would follow anyone in there?
Oh, my God! They just got so dumb that I lost all sympathy for them. I was like: "Hello, Evil: She's up there with her moron boyfriend. Have at them."
Ideally I thought the story should include the inclusion of a grand scene or two with the much, much discussed "Demon - Entity Expert." I kept waiting for that.
I also felt like the ghostbuster could have really freaked out on them more. And their reaction to that could have been so much more juicy.
Finally, I felt like the film lacked an important a big old clash of good and evil for a strong finish.
What? They, couldn't they afford just one more actor? Just one? What a great part that would have been. The wise old creep who never saw anything like that before! Cool!
Also, speaking of other missed opportunities to make a good scary movie a great one was that the lead actress never managed to metamorph in a satisfying way.
The arc of her character should have been this insidious, creepy journey for us. Is she evil? Are we imagining it? So much missed opportunity to freak people out with some great acting! I mean, that doesn't even cost anything! Where was her "Here's Johnny!" moment?
Or even one little "All work and no play makes Katie a crappy student teacher" moment? Not having moments like that really have nothing to do with budget, so I'm fairly unforgiving that there weren't more moments like that. (Dang, I'm a harsh reviewer, aren't I?)
I don't want to be a spoiler, but the film cutting in the last moments of the movie does not a great movie make. I just wanted so much more.
More missed scary moments which really would have cost nothing to include.
For instance, just in the way the film was shot: All that dark space in the background, where any little thing could happened. But, didn't. A face in the window. An out of focus picture frame on the wall in another room, in the far back of the film's frame moving ever, ever so slightly. Not in the center of the frame. That would have been great.
There were no spooky "what was that?" visual flashes to play with the mind, and it would have been so easy to do to suggest very subtle physical hints of evil lurking in the house.
It would be great to include tiny little hints in the background during all those set up shots. Moments that perhaps only one in four people might notice.
Remember the shot towards the beginning of The Exorcist up in the attic? There was this unexpected close up of a face that flashed by super quick as the camera followed the mother walk through the attic?? It was just a flash! Could have been a mask randomly hanging there, or it could have been an evil thing, or something else terrifying that foreshadowed the terror to come, but it was the quiet and unexpected close up in that seemingly random moment that entirely FREAKED ME OUT. It still does. The Exorcist absolutely scared me to death more than any other movie I've ever seen. I can't even think about "that movie" too much without starting to get the creeps.
All in all I just felt that "Paranormal" lost its former momentum in the final 30 minutes. I thought it should contain more "oomph" by the end. Guess, I'm a hard sell these days. And, also, come on! Those foot prints looked like they came from Ostrich Claus, not a demon. Oh, well.
At least we got a "date night," thanks to an unexpected and well-timed slumber party.
Now, I'm sitting in the front of the house writing this wearing a witch hat with way too much candy ready to go in little bags, but nobody's come by yet.
Hmm, it's Halloween night...and I'm all alone. Now, watch the door slam shut behind me and I'll have a heart attack, after all!
Seriously, what was that?
Comments
I know Prince said he enjoyed it, although it wasn't his most, most fav. scary movie, but he really liked it. Pete liked it, too. I'm just very, very cheap. If it's not free then it has to reeeeally entertain me.
And, like I said in the review, I'm a VERY tough sell.
It was worth going. Your wife will be appropriately jumpy afterwards. I got scared later that night at home waiting for non-existent trick-or-treaters and hearing only the ice maker make odd sounds...So, is that a good thing?