My better-late-than-never New Year's Resolutions for 2009
Today is Monday, January 5th, 2009.
I have made it through zero "alone time" for over 5 weeks solid without voluntarily checking into the Brattleboro Retreat Farm to "pat the bunnies" forever.
But, what today really means, for me, is that today is my own "New Year's Day."
Naturally, the first thing I do with my independence is check Bamboo Nation to see what I've missed.
And I see I missed something crucial: My list of New Year's Resolutions.
(Below is a link to the post from Bamboo Nation which got me thinking about the importance of actually making resolutions.)
The best part of Prince Gomolvilas's wonderfully written, inspiring post, (which I highly suggest you read) was this:
...Now don't get me wrong. I like my life. And I find tremendous value in appreciating what I have now and where I am—appreciating the present is something that I continuously work on because I have found it to be, at the very least, calming and, at the very best, transformative. But I began to realize that the line between contentment and complacency can be very thin.
The problem with having big goals, of course, is that there's the very real possibility that you might not achieve them. And that can dampen your spirit. It can cause you to question yourself. It can make you shrink, make you think small, make you believe that going-out-of-business sales at Sears are the best you can do.
Well, you know what? Fuck that. Fuck. That. Say it out loud, people. FUCK. THAT.
John Steinbeck wrote, "It is the nature of man to rise to greatness if greatness is expected of him." Some may feel that that line of thinking just sets you up for failure. But, as longtime readers may remember, I don't believe in failure.
What if it's okay to dream big? And what if it's okay if those dreams don't transpire on our timetable? And what if that's actually our cue to dream bigger?...
Well, said, Prince. As usual. And I send you Godspeed to all your dreams and goals, and really have little doubt that you will succeed in them. After you stop throwing up.
But, what about my own resolutions? What about my own goals for 2009?
For, me a big one, was "get Obama elected." And now that that happened, I sank down to engage in the family holiday machine. But, that was then. For the last five weeks. And this is now. So, here I am.
At home. With time alone again. Now. Today. It IS "next year."
And so what do I want? What are my "New Years Resolutions?"
Okay. Here goes.
(Mind you, I've edited this down into something not so revealing. If you want to know more intimate details, email me.)
My first resolution is actually an answer to Prince's call to action for making resolutions, so it doesn't really get a number: I consider it my "prologue."
Louise's resolution response to Prince:
Now, every time I doubt myself, or sink deep down into the mindless inertia the daily life, or do something idiotic just to see if I'm still alive, I will now shout out "FUCK THAT!"
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Louise's 15 numbered resolutions for 2009.
No order of importance.
1. I will be a better role model for my kids and that includes not using bad words, even when they're the only ones that work.
2 I will continue to listen to, enjoy, support and love my children with all my heart.
3. I will model being organized and responsible (ha.). Or at least fake not doing so with finesse.
4. I will not get fat.
5. I will try to be content with all that I do have and not obsess about what I don't. Unless it makes me write more. Then I might obsess a bit.
6. I will write more.
7. I will face the ghosts of my former failures and try, try again.
8. I will try to stop being so tormented.
9. Will try to be here now.
10. I will heal myself by consistently making healthy choices every day.
11. I will use the lock on our bedroom door. More.
12. I will embrace cooking as a uniquely, sensual experience and not just thankless, mindless food prep.
13. I will be my own damn breadwinner and earn money off my own creativity, be it acting or writing. Or both.
14. I will not forget who I am.
15. I will have a plan and stick to it.
4. I will not get fat.
5. I will try to be content with all that I do have and not obsess about what I don't. Unless it makes me write more. Then I might obsess a bit.
6. I will write more.
7. I will face the ghosts of my former failures and try, try again.
8. I will try to stop being so tormented.
9. Will try to be here now.
10. I will heal myself by consistently making healthy choices every day.
11. I will use the lock on our bedroom door. More.
12. I will embrace cooking as a uniquely, sensual experience and not just thankless, mindless food prep.
13. I will be my own damn breadwinner and earn money off my own creativity, be it acting or writing. Or both.
14. I will not forget who I am.
15. I will have a plan and stick to it.
Comments
Seriously, get your own bunny. You can't touch mine.
It survived electric shock therapy with me.
And, for the record, I did not throw up even once. It was the OTHER end that was the problem. :(