Today I had a CT of my kidneys
Thanks to a re-run of the same UTI for over 6 weeks and the cool opportunity to try out all the major antibiotics of the past decade I was able to take what I'm hoping is a short stroll down Urology Lane.
Anybody ever have a camera up the bladder while it's being filled with water? Wow, that was really unfun and humiliating. Nothing like funny banter with a man while he's looking up your wee-wee.
Today was interesting, too. It wasn't a bit as painful or embarrassing as the camera episode, but I did have an interesting thing happen.
They gave me a lot of tasty LA tap water to down, which was a lot better than the barium swillers on my left in the "waiting room," (not really "a room" at all, it was a hallway with chairs.)
In any event the nurse said they'd put an IV in my arm so they could inject dye into my system in order to film my kidneys and bladder, etc. They said it might make me feel "kind of warm or flushed."
Okay, so that sounded fine to me, no, great, to me, since it was freezing there in the USC hallway and I had had nothing to eat since the night before.
Anyhow so it finally gets to be my turn in the CT room where they lie you down on a table that slides gently inside a whirring tin-can tube, with "PHILLIPS" boldly printed on the top.
Outside "the can" you can watch a computer screen with all these cool images of your guts photographed in "slices" in lots of quick screen shots so you get to watch your innerds in a sort-of animation form.
When the CT nurse lady said they would inject the dye I started to feel a tiny warm rush over my head and in my chest...then I, to my utter, astonishment, said loudly:
"Wow! This makes my vagina really hot!"
And, boy, did it. Not, unfortunately, in "that kind" of way. No such luck. More like a very hot water bottle crammed into my crotch kind of way.
The CT picture taker said women found the "hot down there" reaction common, but not for men. Her feeling was that they feel it there, too, but are too embarrassed to spill the, uh, beans.
I guess I'm more vocal about these things than the average 50+ truck driver guys currently sitting, waiting their turn in the hallway.
Watching the inside of me on a computer screen was cool. It was beautiful, actually.
It was a combination of a rorschach test and ocean-in-a-bottle. A lava lamp view of my interior.
I just wanted the screen to put a big circle around the bits that they thought would look "off" to them. You know have a huge pink circle pop up that said "DANGER: LOOK CLOSELY AT THIS, IT'S NOT QUITE RIGHT HERE. FIX ASAP."
But, no, they just take the pictures and then tell you to go.
I bought myself a pair of shoes later this morning to cheer myself up.
Anybody ever have a camera up the bladder while it's being filled with water? Wow, that was really unfun and humiliating. Nothing like funny banter with a man while he's looking up your wee-wee.
Today was interesting, too. It wasn't a bit as painful or embarrassing as the camera episode, but I did have an interesting thing happen.
They gave me a lot of tasty LA tap water to down, which was a lot better than the barium swillers on my left in the "waiting room," (not really "a room" at all, it was a hallway with chairs.)
In any event the nurse said they'd put an IV in my arm so they could inject dye into my system in order to film my kidneys and bladder, etc. They said it might make me feel "kind of warm or flushed."
Okay, so that sounded fine to me, no, great, to me, since it was freezing there in the USC hallway and I had had nothing to eat since the night before.
Anyhow so it finally gets to be my turn in the CT room where they lie you down on a table that slides gently inside a whirring tin-can tube, with "PHILLIPS" boldly printed on the top.
Outside "the can" you can watch a computer screen with all these cool images of your guts photographed in "slices" in lots of quick screen shots so you get to watch your innerds in a sort-of animation form.
When the CT nurse lady said they would inject the dye I started to feel a tiny warm rush over my head and in my chest...then I, to my utter, astonishment, said loudly:
"Wow! This makes my vagina really hot!"
And, boy, did it. Not, unfortunately, in "that kind" of way. No such luck. More like a very hot water bottle crammed into my crotch kind of way.
The CT picture taker said women found the "hot down there" reaction common, but not for men. Her feeling was that they feel it there, too, but are too embarrassed to spill the, uh, beans.
I guess I'm more vocal about these things than the average 50+ truck driver guys currently sitting, waiting their turn in the hallway.
Watching the inside of me on a computer screen was cool. It was beautiful, actually.
It was a combination of a rorschach test and ocean-in-a-bottle. A lava lamp view of my interior.
I just wanted the screen to put a big circle around the bits that they thought would look "off" to them. You know have a huge pink circle pop up that said "DANGER: LOOK CLOSELY AT THIS, IT'S NOT QUITE RIGHT HERE. FIX ASAP."
But, no, they just take the pictures and then tell you to go.
I bought myself a pair of shoes later this morning to cheer myself up.
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